Little Miss Money-spinner

This is it: MY 2016 EDINBURGH FRINGE SETTLEMENT IS IN.

To anyone who suggests my comedy career is progressing slowly: I WAVE THIS IN YOUR FACE. Look at the figures and you can clearly see I’m winning; I’m nearly three quid up on the game. Take that, Mr Chilcott, Careers Advisor at Thomas Alleyne School; I can make my living as a performer (as long as somebody agrees to consolidate my debt).

Admittedly, that £2.52 BACS payment doesn’t take into account every aspect of the cost of my recent EdFringe run; this is just the Box Office Settlement after the remaining half of my venue hire fee was paid off. There's still the accommodation, the brochure fee, the posters & flyers, the flyerers, the subsistence, the PR, the previews, the train tickets and the adverts to consider. But forget all that; I’ve done good. I can afford to buy 6.3 red peppers from Sainsbury's and live like a red-peppered king.

Joking aside, thing did work out pretty well this year. Doggett & Ephgrave have had Fringe runs together that cost far more to put on and took a lot less back. My first solo Edinburgh was a great and enjoyable exercise that in most senses paid off, plus I now know what I could do to make the next one fair better, both financially and creatively. Just don’t ask me to break a fiver at the moment as I don’t have enough (unless you don’t mind me taking half as commission).