It's a little soul-destroying when you're about to start a week of traveling not sure how you're going to pay for it.
So much of being a performer is speculating to accumulate, along with budgeting for something to then get to it somehow unable to afford it. This can even be the case when you're doing the more standard fee-based stuff like touring; however much money you're meant to receive and however better off you're supposed to be after you've done the work never seem to tally. To say this is frustrating would be an understatement.
It's far worse financially when you're working on self-produced stuff, like my stand-up show this week; even when under the helpful umbrella a Free Fringe venue, where the expenses are slashed. You go in with the mindset that just breaking even would be a dream. Then, to top it off, a negative review or a poor turn-out can make you question why you even did it in the first place, if only for a moment.
i'm sure I'll sort my financial situation out. At least I'm enjoying the show content. I did a couple of runs today and ended the second one feeling pretty happy. There are a couple of less-polished moments, but these are the things that can only be fixed by doing it...so do it I will. Provided I can afford to get to Brighton, that is.