Sinking Feeling.


The person who invented taps that only work when you press down on them is on my list.

They’re the bathroom-fitting equivalent to the chocolate teapot: a device with no rhyme or reason. Their inoperability suggests they were intended as some sort of ablutionary tax dodge, or designed for a futuristic three-handed race.

(...which isn't a school sports day event.)

I understand that they’re meant to save water. The motivation behind their design is ecologically sound; a tap that’s been left running is at Number Three of my Five Least Favourite Things to Walk in on in a Public Toilet. They may have pushed environmentalism a little too far, however, by preventing people from washing their hands at all.

You can’t fit a decent scrub into a one-second time limit (something my nan always said to me). You either have to wash a hand at a time - adopting a strange one-hand-clapping / hamster-massaging motion - or ask the person at the next sink to hold it down for you. Be sure to make it clear you're talking about the tap; you don't want to get a reputation.

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