I’m suddenly
feeling enthused by my comic intentions for the New Year. I must hold
on to this and try to stave off the inevitable dip.
Over the last few
days, I started to feel a little overwhelmed by my plan to write a solo show,
and over whether I could even do it. A lot of this came from the pressure I
put on myself to write something every day, and to keep churning out new
product. Nothing I do is enough. I need to move on to the next thing and quick.
This can be good
and bad. It keeps the creative side of the brain ticking over, but it also
wears it out. It becomes an endless cycle of self-expectation, with no let-off.
On Saturday, I
read through the last few months’ blogs, with my notepad out, writing down what I felt had potential. I then went into the office on Sunday to adapt them, but because I was too tired, I couldn’t see the
wood for the trees. None of it seemed funny.
I now see this as
just that: tiredness. My wife told me recently that I should take a day off. My
first thought was "you think I work? I don’t". But she was right.
This evening, I
met up with a friend I’ll be sharing previews with in the New Year,
to look at some venues. In doing so we had a good chat, and
talked each other up. He’s generous with his praise, but is also very honest.
He'll be good to work with. He laughed at my
proposed title for the show too, which was a bonus.
The trick will be
to try to enjoy the process, to get better at what I do – but to not feel the
need to work incessantly (says the man who still doesn’t think he does
enough). I'll start by not giving this the redraft it clearly needs.