"Later on in the Show."

My Christmas present from Glyn Doggett will never be bettered.




Some things in life you can predict and others you can’t. When Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated on the streets of Sarajevo on 28th June 1914, the breakout of the First World War was nigh-on inevitable (his band namesake, considerably less so). When Mr & Mrs Chuckle were blessed with the birth of Barry and Paul in the mid-1940s, the boys' comedy duo was destined to be. When the Berlin Wall came down in 1989, that hairy-chested KITT-driving lifeguard was bound to end up dancing on the remnants – but if you told me Martin Roberts from Homes Under the Hammer would congratulate me on getting married, I would have told you to shut the front (f**k) door (up).

If you don’t watch television in the morning, the significance of this video may be lost. Any out-of-work actors will lap it up. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve woken up to Martin’s voice, extolling the virtues or pointing out the pitfalls of an endless stream of properties I'd have been too apathetic to renovate. The man is a legend.

His message is forty seconds of bliss. I don’t know how much Glyn paid for under a minute of personal screen time from my favourite daytime TV presenter but, by God, was it worth it. I'd have been happy with just the first seven seconds.

I like how he presumably reworked Glyn’s notes, calling me Dave over David, to make it more matey. His delivery is professional as ever. I just wish he’d popped in a few Hammer catchphrases to seal the deal.

(Joking aside, it's very sweet. Adding the part about his own wedding was a nice touch.)

It’s fair to say that Glyn's raised the bar with this gift. Next year I’ll have to equal it. I’ve no idea what I’ll get him. Something tells me a message from Gary Barlow will be out of my budget.

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