"To shreds, you say?"


Today, I bought a cross-cut shredder. Today is as good as life gets.

I skipped towards Argos with unadulterated glee. Every step brought me closer to paper-mincing bliss. I’d soon be able to get rid of all of my sensitive documents. Those foreboding, yet settled bills from my past could be destroyed, making satisfying spaghetti in the process.

Is this what happens when you reach adulthood? You get excited by the prospect of a cross-cut shredder? If you set your sights low by not longing for anything ambitious, you won’t be disappointed. Unless Argos were out-of-stock, that is.

Thankfully, they weren’t. I’m now the proud owner of a ProAction 10 Sheet 21 Litre Cross-Cut Shredder. It has a throat width of 220mm which is not to be sniffed at. You can even shred CDs. I can finally destroy my copy of All Saints’ eponymously titled debut album and know that it will never come back.

As I walked to the car clutching my new toy, my wife asked me what we’d shred first.

“Our wedding certificate”, I replied. I was joking, of course. 


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