"I'm a Cock-er-ney."


I used to think I spoke with an English accent, until I heard Daphne’s brother Simon in Frasier. Now, I question my own voice, nationality and basic knowledge of British dialects.

What confuses me most is that Jane Leeves’ character is meant to be from up North, yet Simon speaks with a broad, inaccurate Cockney accent. He sounds like Dick Van Dyke’s Bert on acid. Stephen Hawking’s speech synthesiser emits a more convincing British twang than Anthony LaPaglia in Frasier, and it’s not even trying to. Even Speak & Spell did it better.

LaPaglia isn’t the only brother guilty of a pronunciation-based crime. Robbie Coltrane and Richard E Grant are just as inconsistent. Everyone seems to be aiming for a different region, which suggests Daphne’s parents moved up and down the country with alarming frequency. It can’t have been good for the children’s schooling.

I guess it’s just a reflection on its intended audience. A lot of Americans probably wouldn’t notice the difference. This is often the case when the US depicts the UK. Take Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. At one point, Costner and Freeman travel from Nottingham to Dover via Hadrian’s Wall. Either they wanted to take the scenic route, or they were awful map-readers.

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