'University Challenged: Week Twenty-Five' (29.01.18)


I very nearly didn’t make it home in time to watch tonight’s University Challenge as I was out with a friend, though I did wind up missing Only Connect before it, which featured one of the stars of last year’s UC series, Powell, and a couple of his UC teammates being as foppish as ever; their Only Connect team were even called The Dandies, for a kickoff.


While I did miss out on bonus Powell time, which is always a disappointment as the man-child’s such a gimp, I managed to make the most of my UC viewing, despite only getting in just prior to its broadcast; see below for exactly what was said.

Bristol Vs. Newcastle (27.01.18)

8:32PM: Hewett may explode at any moment, with limbs flying to the far corners of the studio.

8:34PM: In years to come, Lowery will haunt the #UniversityChallenge studio, like an anachronistic ghost.

8:34PM: Bristol's mascot is a beached dolphin.

8:35PM: Bowes' look is inspired my a mismatch of eras.

8:37PM: Lowery has never spoken to a woman, but he does own a homunculus in a jar.

8:39PM: What young person wears a waistcoat?

8:39PM: Pass the Duchy on the left-hand side.
8:42PM: Lowery dresses like his dad, who dresses like his great-grandad, who dressed like great-great-grandad, who dressed like his great-great-great-grandad, who dressed like etc.
8:44PM: If #UniversityChallenge marketed action figures, one would look like Lowery, one would look like Bowes, one would look like Grinyer and one would look like Monkman. (There would be no women.)

8:46PM: If Bowes sold an aftershave, it would be called Affectation.

8:47PM: Slicked-back hair, pubey beard, waistcoat = cunt.

8:49PM: Paxman has no time to acknowledge an incorrect answer; he has too much to do, what with Michael Howard, M&S an' that.

8:54PM: "My magnificent octopus."

8:56PM: Bristol's Hewett (right).

8:56PM: Bowes' stance says it all.

8:57PM: Bowes is Keymaster to Lowery's Gatekeeper.

8:58PM:If any gameshow would use a gong, it would be #UniversityChallenge.

(Take Your Pick doesn’t count.)

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Image
Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...
Read more

Comedy That's Worth a Letch.

Today, I nipped to Letchworth to meet with illustrator (and one-time - two-time - comedy poet) Mushybees, to discuss an event Mostly Comedy will act as surrogate parents to as part of Letchworth’s Arts Takeover in a couple of weeks. Months ago he got into contact to see if we’d be up for co-organising a comedy stage as part of Letchworth’s weekend of arts-based attractions in July; something I’d provisionally said yes to, before things got hectic in the lead-up to Edinburgh and we didn’t take it any further. Despite not getting down to the nitty-gritty straight away, we managed to pull a line-up together in a back-and-forth of emails yesterday, leading to me getting Glyn’s blessing and us deciding we’d officially go ahead with it (whatever ‘officially’ means in this context). In reality, it’s not complicated: from 12pm until 6pm-ish on the 22 nd July, Glyn, Mushybees and I will host four Edinburgh previews from four acts (including me), before Nor...
Read more