'University Challenged: Week Twenty-Five' (29.01.18)


I very nearly didn’t make it home in time to watch tonight’s University Challenge as I was out with a friend, though I did wind up missing Only Connect before it, which featured one of the stars of last year’s UC series, Powell, and a couple of his UC teammates being as foppish as ever; their Only Connect team were even called The Dandies, for a kickoff.


While I did miss out on bonus Powell time, which is always a disappointment as the man-child’s such a gimp, I managed to make the most of my UC viewing, despite only getting in just prior to its broadcast; see below for exactly what was said.

Bristol Vs. Newcastle (27.01.18)

8:32PM: Hewett may explode at any moment, with limbs flying to the far corners of the studio.

8:34PM: In years to come, Lowery will haunt the #UniversityChallenge studio, like an anachronistic ghost.

8:34PM: Bristol's mascot is a beached dolphin.

8:35PM: Bowes' look is inspired my a mismatch of eras.

8:37PM: Lowery has never spoken to a woman, but he does own a homunculus in a jar.

8:39PM: What young person wears a waistcoat?

8:39PM: Pass the Duchy on the left-hand side.
8:42PM: Lowery dresses like his dad, who dresses like his great-grandad, who dressed like great-great-grandad, who dressed like his great-great-great-grandad, who dressed like etc.
8:44PM: If #UniversityChallenge marketed action figures, one would look like Lowery, one would look like Bowes, one would look like Grinyer and one would look like Monkman. (There would be no women.)

8:46PM: If Bowes sold an aftershave, it would be called Affectation.

8:47PM: Slicked-back hair, pubey beard, waistcoat = cunt.

8:49PM: Paxman has no time to acknowledge an incorrect answer; he has too much to do, what with Michael Howard, M&S an' that.

8:54PM: "My magnificent octopus."

8:56PM: Bristol's Hewett (right).

8:56PM: Bowes' stance says it all.

8:57PM: Bowes is Keymaster to Lowery's Gatekeeper.

8:58PM:If any gameshow would use a gong, it would be #UniversityChallenge.

(Take Your Pick doesn’t count.)

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