'University Challenged 2016/17: Volume Six (15.08.16)'

It’s when you average more than a Tweet per minute whilst watching University Challenge that you realise you should maybe take a step away from your internet-enabled device.

Perhaps it was the lungfuls (sic?) of cool clear Scottish air I took on board when standing at the top of Edinburgh’s Carlton Hill today, during my day off at the Festival that left me trigger-happy with my posts. I couldn’t possibly comment. Whatever the cause, I couldn’t help myself. See below for this week’s 140-character carnage; I apologise to any higher-educated contestants I have offended in the process.

Emmanuel - Cambridge, Vs. Nottingham (15.08.16)

7:29pm: What bunch of gimps will we meet today? #UniversityChallenge

7:30pm: Never trust a man with Seagull for a surname.

7:31pm: Bobby Seagull? BOBBY SEAGULL?

7:31pm: "...and I'm reading..." F**k off.

7:32pm: A B.A. in Viking Studies? That'll guarantee a job.

7:32pm: Why does no-one ever study a B.A. in Barracas?

7:33pm: Cowan: haircut like a microphone.

7:33pm: Van Urk's hair goes sideways.

7:34pm: Seagull came as he pressed the buzzer.

7:34pm: I had Meethan's hairstyle in the early Nineties.

7:36pm: Barton-Singer is my favourite model of sewing machine.

7:37pm: Nottingham Smith's smarmy, smarmy, smarmy, smarmy face.

7:38pm: Troy McClure was known to "go with a carp".

7:40pm: Emmanuel College's Hill has Joe Brown's Hair.

7:41pm: Emmanuel's Ward came dressed as a sailor.

7:42pm: First rule of #UniversityChallenge Club: don't smile when you get an answer right (Club).

7:43pm: Emmanuel's Hill will never ever shave.

7:45pm: John Lennon was The Beatles' rhythm guitarist, you gimp.

7:45pm: "Bacon, BACON."

7:46pm: Smith's smug face just made me vocalise an exclamation of disgust.

7:49pm: I'd like to recreate George Orwell's 1984 boot / face metaphor with Smith.

7:52pm: Smith won't look so smug when he watches this episode back and spots the fluff on his shoulder.

7:53pm: Run your fingers through Hill's hair and revel in the static.

7:54pm: Seagull needs to chill the f**k out.

7:55pm: "Rrrrrrrrust."

7:55pm: Ward's had the same face on all episode.

8:02pm: Smith (right).