Strictly Come Tweeting (24.10.15)

I wasn't planning on tweeting along to tonight's Strictly Come Dancing, until I realised how many double entendres were taking place. It turned out that these were the tip of the iceberg, when Bruno accidentally dropped a bollock (or two) on live television. Suddenly, everything else seemed slight in comparison. It wasn't a heavy duty swear, of course, unless said with malice aforefort, which it certainly wasn't. Still, he should have known better, on a family show - though I seem to remember this wasn't the first time something of this ilk happened; Len Goodman, I'm looking at you.

Here are tonight's ramblings:


6:42pm: My "sausage is close to bursting point", Tess.

6:47pm: Did Darcy just say, "The clubbing seal"?

6:51pm: Pasha: "This dance never stops turning". CANCEL THE REST OF THE TV SCHEDULE.

6:52pm: (Del and Rodney, standing underneath the chandeliers.)

6:54pm: Bruno: "Your arms: just use them correctly". Excellent teaching.

6:56pm: Anton's come as 'The Eighties'.

6:58pm: My Dad would describe Gleb as "a tool".

7:00pm: Let's hear it for the circular rostrum.

7:06pm: Janette Manrararararararararararara (sic).

7:07pm: I like to see things back visually too. Like hearing things hearingly.

7:08pm: Janette's come as Princess Jasmine, Peter's come as...Peter Andre.

7:10pm: YOU have to be juicy at those ends.

7:18pm: YOU pulled it off big-time.

7:23pm: Ainsley had better use some bread rolls as props.

7:29pm: YOU'VE got to get up on your balls more.

7:41pm: In the week, David Cameron has custody of his hair. At the weekend, Anton du Beke gets it.

7:44pm: YOU'RE a little bit sticky in places.

7:50pm: .@theJeremyVine's an Elvis Costello fan. I like him even more.

7:53pm: Go on, Bruno. Fit some more nasty comments into your thirty seconds of feedback.

7:55pm: Jeremy's book was written fifty years ago. Bruno was in the I'm Still Standing video thirty years ago.

8:02pm: Jay McGuiness' resting face (right).


8:08pm: Bruno swears on live TV. The Daily Mail will be FURIOUS.

8:17pm: NEWSFLASH: due to swearing live on air, next week Bruno will be replaced by Toby Anstis

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