Skip to main content

Owl Holes.


Today was split evenly between playing golf and holding owls. It must have been a Wednesday.

Massive owl (right).

The bird handling came first, as you’d expect. The brochure described it as an ‘Encounter With Owls’, which made it sound a little menacing; would they swoop at me down a dark alley? I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had, the nocturnal rotating-headed bastards.

(Though they can actually only turn their heads 270 degrees – ha: “only” – and they’re not all nocturnal. Can I start again?)

Tiny owls make me smile.

My encounter was great. I had expected to see a couple of owls at most, à la a junior-school-barn-owl visit (was mine the only school to do this?), but there were nine or ten. It cost just £10, and a pound a bird is not to be sniffed at. They came in all shapes, sizes and breeds - the biggest being an eagle owl, which only the adults got to hold; the experience would have been tarnished if he'd flown off with a toddler. We all had the chance to hold the smallest one though (the appropriately-named little owl) plus a variety of measurements in-between. I hope they're stored babushka style.

A small, small owl.
 
The session ended with all willing volunteers (including myself) standing in a line with our gloved hands held out, catching one bird after the next. At one point I ended up with a pair of owls in a single hand, which was a breach of the rules; call me the owl whisperer.

After lunch, we swapped birds of prey for adventure golf (the politically correct version of the ‘crazy game’ from days of yore.) While it wasn’t particularly adventurous, I did enjoy it. Somehow, I didn’t embarrass myself. The final score was a photo finish. Is there such a thing as psychotic swingball? 

A serious business.

 
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...
Read more