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I derive endless amusement from the Elvis Quotes Twitter account.

It’s probably unlikely you’ve happened to stumble across it, but if you haven’t, you’re probably familiar with its sort. It’s one of those accounts that’s presumably posting predominantly scheduled tweets proportedly related to Elvis, but most of them are hugely incongruous.

The last few days are is a case in point. I can’t imagine the King would have had a lot to say about the ageing process of Lindsay Lohan, least of all when she achieved fame a good twenty years after he died; nor would be that interested in the perceived attractiveness of the Female Olympians of the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics; that’s unless he had some alarmingly specific (and useless) prophecies. What amuses me most is the account name suggests the tweets are words of wisdom taken verbatim from the great man himself, when in truth they’re just scarcely concealed clickbait.



I’d love to know who was behind it, if only to congratulate them for their slipshod attention to detail, which borders on flagrant. They’re not even written in a consistent tense. Some are in first-person, presumably with the intention of stoking up conversation, which just makes Elvis sound needy…



…or like a middle-aged parent trying to sound down-with-the-kids.

Maybe I’ve got it wrong, and he did say all these things. One of these days, I’ll do some research. If nothing else, I’ll compile a comprehensive anthology, which may make for an amusing book; it’s something to do, anyway.

(Er, Elvis?)

 

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