Blowout.
Why is it always the most unpleasant things people say to you or the disrespectful treatment that sticks in your mind the most?
Yesterday, I was involved in an argument that stemmed from someone not being prepared to take in the content of what was being discussed, yet had the bravado to plough on regardless for the sake of it, like listening would somehow show weakness. It wasn't so much the disagreement that was upsetting, as their refusal to let me reset things at the end of the conversation so we could work together in future without issue.
For whatever reason, they decided early on in the meeting we were having - which was our first - that they would not be able to communicate with me in future, so they would sooner cut me out. When I said that was ridiculous, they wouldn't drop it. Everything I'd said up to that point, they had disagreed with, not through any genuine disagreement - as I got the impression they'd barely considered the situation they were going into pre-conversation - but just to be obtuse. Then, when I apologised for my approach in the hope that would at least take some of the heat of the situation, they still refused to speak to me and eventually just walked off.
Now, I don't really know this person and it's my intention we won't work together in future, more for self-preservation. But it still sticks with me for being so mishandled. Why be like that? The answer, I guess, is because they're too inept at personability to be anything else. If they had sense, they would have taken the apology as a chance to backtrack. But no, they chose instead to keep it live and venomous. Now, I can't understand that. What frustrated me most is I somehow came out as the aggressor, when right now pretty much everything I'm doing is like a long-running exercise in diplomacy; something I'm actually quite good at.
The point is I don't want to be involved in situations any more with underlying toxicity, as I have had more than my fair share of that. I'm so tired of having to defend myself or build myself up; I want to work with people I like and not be chastised for having a tendency to suffer from poor mental health. Just because I suffer from chronic depression doesn't mean I'm irrational or wrong; it just means I'm aware of it and spend a lot of time working on bolstering myself to protect myself and others from it.
One of my major problems is I taking on situations I shouldn't and blaming myself for what's wrong with it. I'd like to not do that any more, but it's a hard habit to break. The important thing is I'm aware of it and always trying to navigate myself around it. That's not to say I'll be able to steer away from the iceberg every time, but the fact I'm hugely aware of it is a strength not a weakness. I just wish she could have been nicer, but if she doesn't have the capacity to communicate even with someone she perceives to be difficult, she's in the wrong job.
Yesterday, I was involved in an argument that stemmed from someone not being prepared to take in the content of what was being discussed, yet had the bravado to plough on regardless for the sake of it, like listening would somehow show weakness. It wasn't so much the disagreement that was upsetting, as their refusal to let me reset things at the end of the conversation so we could work together in future without issue.
For whatever reason, they decided early on in the meeting we were having - which was our first - that they would not be able to communicate with me in future, so they would sooner cut me out. When I said that was ridiculous, they wouldn't drop it. Everything I'd said up to that point, they had disagreed with, not through any genuine disagreement - as I got the impression they'd barely considered the situation they were going into pre-conversation - but just to be obtuse. Then, when I apologised for my approach in the hope that would at least take some of the heat of the situation, they still refused to speak to me and eventually just walked off.
Now, I don't really know this person and it's my intention we won't work together in future, more for self-preservation. But it still sticks with me for being so mishandled. Why be like that? The answer, I guess, is because they're too inept at personability to be anything else. If they had sense, they would have taken the apology as a chance to backtrack. But no, they chose instead to keep it live and venomous. Now, I can't understand that. What frustrated me most is I somehow came out as the aggressor, when right now pretty much everything I'm doing is like a long-running exercise in diplomacy; something I'm actually quite good at.
The point is I don't want to be involved in situations any more with underlying toxicity, as I have had more than my fair share of that. I'm so tired of having to defend myself or build myself up; I want to work with people I like and not be chastised for having a tendency to suffer from poor mental health. Just because I suffer from chronic depression doesn't mean I'm irrational or wrong; it just means I'm aware of it and spend a lot of time working on bolstering myself to protect myself and others from it.
One of my major problems is I taking on situations I shouldn't and blaming myself for what's wrong with it. I'd like to not do that any more, but it's a hard habit to break. The important thing is I'm aware of it and always trying to navigate myself around it. That's not to say I'll be able to steer away from the iceberg every time, but the fact I'm hugely aware of it is a strength not a weakness. I just wish she could have been nicer, but if she doesn't have the capacity to communicate even with someone she perceives to be difficult, she's in the wrong job.
