Out of Gas.


I’m finding it difficult to source the energy to be creative at the moment.

The root of the cause, put simply, is it’s been a difficult few months, which have yet to become significantly less challenging. This, combined with a truckload of extra Mostly Comedys (including our shows in St Albans, which kick off this week) have made it hard to devote the requisite headspace to get on with any writing. There's also no-one to chivvy me along or tell me when I’m doing well, which makes it hard to approach what I’m doing with enthusiasm and confidence; that’s not to say I haven’t got a few bits on the back-burner that show promise (and no-one wants to burn their back-bits) though my brain’s so frazzled, I can only work for a few minutes at a time before I’m spent.

I feel like a student who’s behind on his coursework, yet can’t be bothered to get on with it, except it’s not so much a case of not being bothered as feeling no-one else cares about what I do. This hasn’t been helped by a spate of customer queries and cancellations related to my comedy club that have conspired to make me feel undervalued there too; I never set out to deal with the public, yet have somehow wound up in that position via the backdoor, and all for minimal payment for an event whose output quality vastly outweighs the cost to book.

I could do with a break, but that's not an option right now. All I can do is try to approach what I do with self-kindness and not be overwhelmed by it. I’d love a holiday, but I can’t see that happening until my deadlines have been and gone; maybe Reggie Perrin had it right after all.

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