Skip to main content

University Challenged: Volume Twenty-Nine (03.04.17)


This morning, I made a (Eph)grave miscalculation, when I woke up thinking the day would end with a Monkman.

I even went so far as to tag some of his bigger fans within my friendship group on Facebook to the effect that today would end with a Monkman. I also Tweeted about the day ending with a Monkman, before suddenly losing faith. ‘Hang on a minute,’ I thought. ‘What if the day doesn’t end with a Monkman? What if he isn't back until next week?’

I checked my sources and lo and behold, I’d got it wrong: today wasn’t set to end with a Monkman at all; not for me and not for the wider general public. The only people to be treated to a Monkman at the end of the day were those who live with him; the rest of us mere mortals have to wait until the final next Monday. Rest assured though: next Monday is Monkmonday. I can’t wait.

See below for tonight’s University Challenge Tweets:

Edinburgh Vs. Balliol - Oxford (03.04.17)

8:03pm: Boyle thinks bass, acts bass, plays bass, IS bass.

8:05pm: Potts has come dressed in Ena Sharples' 70s-era Coronation Street wallpaper.

8:07pm: Imagine Goldman singing a lullabye in those dulcet tones. Hushabye Mountain, perhaps? YOU'D NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.

8:09pm: Surely Potts isn't allowed to wear that bearskin hat in the studi...oh, sorry...nothing.

8:10pm: Go on, Goldman: smile when you get an answer right. Just the once. Show some heart. Please? I'm frightened.

8:12pm: Boyle is Noel Edmonds left to the elements.

8:12pm: Goldman, twinned with smug, cold, smug, cold and heartless.

8:14pm: Baliol's Pope is Goldman after taking a year out to go travelling.

8:16pm: This week's #UniversityChallenge is the calm before the Monkman storm.

8:17pm: Boyle has the bass part for Pink Floyd's Money playing in his head on loop.

8:18pm: Dale would be a great interpretive mime.

8:19pm: Boyle is Paul Nicholas, having let himself go.

8:20pm: Potts gets younger the longer you look.

8:22pm: Pope & Boyle share a cheeky joint around the back of the studio, post-recording. Paxo catches them & takes a blowback.

8:25pm: Smith's a punky Proclaimer.

8:26pm: Smith's 'disgusted-cos-he-got-the-answer-right' face.

8:28pm: MONKMAN WOULD WIPE THE FLOOR OF EVERYONE IN THE STUDIO (with the possible exception of the impervious Goldman).

8:29pm: Smith takes a sip of water every time he gets an answer right; proof it pays to be well-hydrated.

8:36pm: Seven sleeps til Monkman.
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...
Read more

"Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Shine."

Tonight saw the second instalment of BBC1’s latest advertise-a-musical-for-months-and-then-cast-it-with-performers-too-inexperienced-to-do-it-a-thon ‘Let it S̶h̶i̶t̶e̶ Shine’ (or as I call it: ‘REAL AUDITIONS ARE NOTHING LIKE THIS’). I didn’t watch it (clearly), but being reminded of how angry seeing just five minutes of it made me last week caused me to mull over what I would call a musical based on the band’s songbook, if I was responsible for it. Here are a my suggestions: IDEAS FOR TITLE OF A TAKE THAT MUSICAL: Barlow! Dirty Fat-Dancing Orange! A Million Love-changes-everything Songs Owen! Howard's End Pray Misérables Mamma Marka! Babe (with a pig as the lead) …BUT MY FAVOURITE HAS TO BE: Jason & His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. "It was Orange, Orange, Orange, Orange..." (TAKE) THAT’S ENOUGH OF (TAKE) THAT.
Read more