Monday, 10 April 2017

'University Challenged: Volume Thirty: THE FINAL' (10.04.17)

It’s like what John Lennon sang when The Beatles split up: “The dream is over”; Monkman's gone from our screens.

Personally, I’m inconsolable, as he's lightened my mood on many a Monday for weeks. He’s that wonderful blend of being likeable yet also capable of making you laugh unintentionally nigh-on every time he speaks. He's got better comic timing than Morecambe (E), Wise (E), Dawson (L) and Cooper (T) rolled into one big funny monster…with a Canadian accent and an asymmetrical fringe to boot.

See below for tonight’s UC tweets: if you have a drink nearby then raise a glass; we shan’t see his like again (until the next series).

Wolfson - Cambridge Vs. Balliol - Ocford (10.04.17)

7:58pm: We, my friends, are on the brink of TV history: we're mere seconds away from MONKMAN'S LAST HURRAH. My God, it's tense.
8:00pm: Tonight's #UniversityChallenge is the quiz equivalent to the Boat Race.
8:01pm: Monkman's looking more Terry Gilliam than ever.
8:02pm: First Monkman-inspired laugh of the evening.
8:02pm: Potts wore that shirt last week. He thinks I haven't noticed. I've noticed, Potts. I'VE NOTICED.
8:03pm: Thinking of buying a racehorse and naming it Pope's Seventies Collar.
8:04pm: I - like - how - Monkman - punctuates - every - word.
8:05pm: Monkman: Canada's best export since Due South.
8:08pm: Monkman's a little too low-key tonight for my liking.
8:08pm: Monkman's shocked by his own lips.
8:12pm: Pope's like one of those funky, "I'm not-like-the-other-teachers" teachers.
8:13pm: Potts shirt was sponsored by 1970s vomit.
8:14pm: Chaudhri smiled once, in the early Noughties.
8:16pm: Monkman's collar is peeping cheekily over his jumper, all cheeky, like.
8:17pm: Monkman looks angry about his own answers.
8:19pm: I don't want Monkman to leave us. He completes me.
8:20pm: Potts is looking after a middle-aged lady-friend's hair.
8:22pm: I want to rub a balloon against Potts' hair.
8:24pm: Cosgrove wouldn't look out of place with a glass of brandy in one hand & a Dave Allen-style ashtray-on-a-stand nearby.
8:25pm: Monkman's sat on a receipt spike.
8:25pm: The downward swoop of Monkman's fringe = YES.
8:26pm: Cosgrove's deflating. Quick, plug the leak.
8:27pm: Ahhhhhhh....SHIT!
8:28pm: Brief flicker of a smile from Goldman there. Blink and you'd miss it.
8:29pm: I bet Hawking didn't like saying "Well done Oxford".
8:32pm: "You'll be a Monk Man, my son."

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