I Buried Paul.


With the fiftieth anniversary of The Beatles' Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band approaching, it’s worth noting that an Ephgrave painted the drumskin on the cover, either making me fictional or my family a whistle-blower for Paul McCartney’s apparent death.

Black Pepper.
You may not be aware of the Paul is Dead craze, which swept America primarily (no surprise there) in the late Sixties. If you’re not, the best way to summarise would be to say a group of stoned cretins began to spot supposed clues on The Beatles’ records and their artwork to suggest that McCartney had been killed in a motorcycle accident in 1966 and replaced by a look-alike, to literally save face. This was nonsense of course, yet the theory still managed to gain considerable momentum, which still hasn’t slowed to this day in the more overly-imaginative corners of the internet. 

Exhibit A.
The first LP to supposedly be littered with clues was Sgt Pepper, with the majority  to be found on the sleeve. It’s just so happens to be the first Beatles album I came into contact with myself, when I found it in my mum’s record collection, spotted the song 'With a Little Help from My Friends' was on it, and thought it might appeal to my eighty-something babysitter, as she was ‘old too’. I now know it was from the wrong era - it had been released about twenty years earlier at that point at best - but it still got me hooked on the group; an obsession that hasn’t diminished in the twenty-five or so years that have passed since; God, I’m now getting old myself.

Exhibit B.
It wasn’t long after discovering the album that I read about the whole Paul is Dead shebang, and while I'm a sucker for a good conspiracy theory, I soon realised it was tripe when I stumbled across a few sources that suggested my own surname was a clue to Macca’s demise; if my name really was made up to shine a light on this musical cover-up to end all cover-ups then the people trying to expose McCartney's passing definitely committed to the cause; if so, Ephgrave may not even be my real name; it better not be William Campbell or Billy Shears though, or I'll have to subject myself to a citizen's arrest.

Exhibit C.

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Image
Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...
Read more

Hoo-ray and up She Rises.

So much has happened since my last post in March that this blog risks sounding like an itinerary. The main news is that Hitchin Mostly Comedy will return in the summer at a new venue, the Queen Mother Theatre . The road to this decision was convoluted, though enough fell into place en route to leave me optimistic about this new start. The catalyst was a survey I ran via our mailing list a few months back, in which I asked, "If the club returned in the current climate, with tickets still around £15 (and with similar line-ups), would you still attend?"; the response to which, in simple terms, was a resounding yes. Nearly 250 mailing list subscribers responded in a single week, with around a hundred also taking the option to leave some feedback. And only two people were abusive, which counts as a win when you consider they posted their comments online anonymously. Imagine how many more insults we would have received if the comedy club was a woman. Particularly if she was Diane ...
Read more