Strictly Come Tweeting (19.12.15)


Tonight saw the final Strictly Come Dancing show of 2015 – and therefore, my final evening of tweet after tweet after tweet about it.

See below for the whole shebang. I wasn’t happy with tonight's result, but what do I know about it?

6:34pm: I'm likely to tweet about #Strictly tonight. Apologies to the uninterested. Could be worse. I could be doing the dancing.

6:38pm: Katie Derham's face.

6:38pm: This happens every day at Elstree.

6:40pm: In a lock-up somewhere in Elstree, there's one of those big banners with "Daniel" written on it.

6:42pm: Katie Derham's husband's novelty suit is almost as annoying as Katie Derham.

6:44pm: Bruno said "bollocks". Tess Daly said "breast". What's the BBC coming to? @DailyMailUK

6:46pm: The Jay McGuinness School of Emotion.


6:47pm: I noticed the different My Generation bass solo, #Strictly band bassist. I noticed it.

6:50pm: Jay McGuinness' style icon.


6:51pm: Tess Daly's comfy comfy belt.

6:53pm: Why not have Paul Hollywood take over Alan Dedicoat's voice-overs?

6:57pm: Giovanni could have done his bow tie up. BBC cutbacks? @DailyMailUK

6:59pm: ...meanwhile, Craig's beard is coming along nicely.

7:01pm: 9999. My PIN.

7:05pm: Either Bruno should be wearing Kevin's tie, or Kevin should be wearing Bruno's jacket.

7:15pm: I don't normally say this, but I really enjoyed Anton's performance in that.

7:22pm: Jay & Aliona: so much sex going on there.

7:23pm: Jay did the upside down, spinny, hangy bit to stimulate hair growth.

7:24pm: I'm not really sure what was happening just then.

7:30pm: Imagine how good it would have been with Helen in the final. Just sayin'.

7:31pm: SHE'S GOING TO DANCE BLINDFOLDED? SH*T.

7:33pm: Top marks for the song edit on Fix You, Dave Arch. Top marks.

7:35pm: Lovely storytelling in Georgia & Giovanni's showdance.

7:41pm: Kellie & Kevin's showdance: bloody, bloody, bloody good.

7:44pm: I'd like to watch Kellie & Kevin's showdance again IMMEDIATELY.

7:54pm: Look, ITV: Lenny Henry's there. Oh, sorry. It's Ainsley. SORRY.

7:57pm: Who's got a mantelpiece big enough for the glitterball trophy, anyway?

9:12pm: "He's got the biggest heart in the world". One of the most overlooked health issues in the country.

9:14pm: Let's hear it one more time for Jay McGuinness.

9:20pm: "You burst my heart". One of the most overlooked health issues in the country.

9:20pm: (Monobrow.)

9:23pm: Tens all round for Georgia's last dance, I reckon. Great performance.

9:29pm: If either Kellie of Georgia win, I'll be happy. (If Kellie wins, I'll be ecstatic.)

9:30pm: Danny Dyer: unconvincing as himself.

9:47pm: "Only you can set my arse on fire". Unbelievable lyrics, Ellie Goulding. Unbelievable.

9:50pm: Don't forget the studio where #Strictly's filmed is where Jack Nicholson types 'All work & no play makes Jack a dull boy' in The Shining.

10:05pm: Oh. BOLLOCKS.


10:06pm: (Jay and Aliona's people have just booked them a hotel room.)

10:07pm: Glitterball Trophy: channelling Blue Peter.

10:09pm: ...it's like when the Tories got in, all over again (not an endorsement).

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Image
Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce
Read more

Hoo-ray and up She Rises.

So much has happened since my last post in March that this blog risks sounding like an itinerary. The main news is that Hitchin Mostly Comedy will return in the summer at a new venue, the Queen Mother Theatre . The road to this decision was convoluted, though enough fell into place en route to leave me optimistic about this new start. The catalyst was a survey I ran via our mailing list a few months back, in which I asked, "If the club returned in the current climate, with tickets still around £15 (and with similar line-ups), would you still attend?"; the response to which, in simple terms, was a resounding yes. Nearly 250 mailing list subscribers responded in a single week, with around a hundred also taking the option to leave some feedback. And only two people were abusive, which counts as a win when you consider they posted their comments online anonymously. Imagine how many more insults we would have received if the comedy club was a woman. Particularly if she was Diane
Read more