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Suspicious Package.


While on the bus today, I spotted a small black plastic bag on the seat opposite with the top tied up, and was worried that it might contain a poo. 

Nobody laid claim to it. No-one wanted to sit next to it either, though the bus was almost full. Each time we stopped, the people boarding would make a beeline for the empty seat, then shun it when they saw its ominous luggage. Or should that be “loggage”? A poo bag is the ultimate space-saver. 

It was the tied-up top that made it suspicious. It was too small to contain a bomb, yet big enough for bum-product. The colour of the bag only added to its sinister atmosphere; black polythene can mask a multitude of sins. 

No-one picked it up by the time I got off. It sat there, enjoying the benefits of an empty double seat. If I catch the same bus back and it’s still there, I may be tempted to loosen the knot. 

UPDATE: 

There was no sign of the excretal sack on the journey back. It was just full of teenagers on their way home from school. Hoping to squeeze on the bus while surrounded by thousands of school kids felt a bit like trying to get a lifeboat on The Titanic.

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