Quorn on the Cob.

Tonight I took my wife to the lovely veggie restaurant* The Gate in Islington for a belated birthday treat. 

We went there this time last year and had a great time and tonight was no different. It's a treat to be able to choose anything on the menu instead of just the obligatory macaroni cheese - and while I'm pescetarian so my options are usually fairly open, it's more of a novelty for my full-on vegetarian wife (which is how I refer to her when asked). 

If you were to ask me exactly what I had, I'd struggle to recall in much detail, other than to say it all was nice. I'd like to think I'm fairly adventurous with what I eat, so if the ingredients are in my remit, I'm happy to try something new. I had a three-lentil paté to start, which came with a lovely piccalilli and melba toast, while the main was some sort of beetrooty thing (consult their menu for more detail) and the dessert was an Eton Mess that managed to be both vegan, yet still the right side of rich. 

I didn't think I'd overstretched myself it at the time, but in retrospect, I feel like I've taken on my own body-weight two-fold. At least I'm still able to enjoy the sound of the man heartily tucking into his crisps on the train home like he's trying to make the most of every crunch. He wants everyone to know just how much he's enjoying himself by somehow managing to amplify each bite so it's louder than the train's engine; his head must be empty to have such great natural acoustics. 

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: he finished the packet at exactly the same time as my last sentence by pouring the last few morsels of crisp detritus down his big, fat trap; tonight meal seems overrated in comparison. I also wish my a nose was as whistly as his.)

*for lovely veggies.

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Image
Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...
Read more

Hoo-ray and up She Rises.

So much has happened since my last post in March that this blog risks sounding like an itinerary. The main news is that Hitchin Mostly Comedy will return in the summer at a new venue, the Queen Mother Theatre . The road to this decision was convoluted, though enough fell into place en route to leave me optimistic about this new start. The catalyst was a survey I ran via our mailing list a few months back, in which I asked, "If the club returned in the current climate, with tickets still around £15 (and with similar line-ups), would you still attend?"; the response to which, in simple terms, was a resounding yes. Nearly 250 mailing list subscribers responded in a single week, with around a hundred also taking the option to leave some feedback. And only two people were abusive, which counts as a win when you consider they posted their comments online anonymously. Imagine how many more insults we would have received if the comedy club was a woman. Particularly if she was Diane ...
Read more