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Surrounded by cretins.


Last night I had a couple of Sainsbury’s Scottish Salmon Fillets for dinner. I wrapped them in a parcel of tin foil with a little butter – and was just about to pop them in the oven (twenty minutes at 200°C / Gas Mark 6) when I caught sight of the allergy advice on the back of the packet and noticed that it said “contains fish”. 


CHRIST.

Now, I understand that companies sometimes have to cover their back – and that these days it’s hard to leave the house without stumbling over a ‘MIND THE SIGN’ sign – but do people really need to be told that fish contains fish?

How long before they put signs up outside shops saying 'Building Contains CO2’?

(Probably not long, judging from the contestant I saw the other day on the National Lottery's 'In it To Win it'; when asked "What gas is otherwise known as CO2?", he said "Petrol".)

It seems everything is now pitched at the lowest common denominator. Another good example is the current advertising campaign for the Fiat 500, where the opening shot of a car driving off a cliff is accompanied with the disclaimer: "Fiction. Do not attempt”.


I'm starting to wonder if it might be better for the human race if we were left to work out these little quandaries for ourselves; it would certainly help separate the wheat from the chaff.

Oh, and by the way: wheat contains traces of wheat.

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