Going for a wee(d)


I may be the first person in history to become stoned just from using a toilet cubicle.

It’s worth clarifying that I wasn’t a willing participant. The choice to partake wasn't mine. This is the downside of using one of the sealed conveniences in Hitchin Town Centre: you walk into an airtight environment. Within seconds you're complicit with whatever occurred previously. So it was for me: I went in needing the toilet – and came out needing a copy of The Small Faces’ Ogden’s Nut Gone Flake.

I suppose it could have been worse: I could have been confronted by a much fouler stench. There’s one thing to be said for the more unpleasant option, though: at least I wouldn’t have left with the urge to munch my way through a packet of biscuits.

It must be what it would be like to step into a man-sized bong. A man-sized bong with excellent ablutive facilities.

I got out of there as soon as nature would allow – but within seconds I started to worry. What if I’d picked up the fumes on my clothing? What if the next person who went in thought I was the mystery toker?

Proof that even passive pot-smoking can make you paranoid.

So, if you’re looking to arrange a trip to a Dutch coffee-shop but can’t afford the flight, why not pop to Hitchin? I’d recommend the third cubicle along on The Arcade as an excellent starting point.

Legal Notice: none of the above were responsible.

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