'Universitty Challenged 2017/18: Volume Three' (31.07.17).


Tonight’s instalment of University Challenge was a total washout for Team Cardiff.

For much of the game their score was frozen at minus five, which is worse than even I would manage; consequently, they spent most of the programme wearing a look that was a mix of exhausted confusion and grim inevitability. They’d been steamrollered and they knew it and every passing second compounded their failure; they may as well have all started sucking their thumbs.

As ever, I covered my view of the programme on Twitter. See below for what I said and when; who wouldn’t want to read that?

Southampton Vs. Cardiff (31.07.17)

8:01PM: "Asking the questions..." a tetchy, miserable bastard.

8:01PM: Ledesma loves it.

8:03PM: Ledesma's borrowed Paul McCartney's septuagenarian hairstyle.

8:04PM: A bow tie on this programme is always a cause for concern.

8:04PM: "Rook's off".

8:06PM: Conway's hair has a Ken Dodd aftertaste.

8:07PM: Cardiff's Strachan.

8:08PM: Ledesmaon. Knighton. Frankelon. Joneson. Southamptonon.

8:10PM: There's nothing more final than Paxman's "Erased".

8:11PM: Try as I might, I can't remember Jones' face.

8:13PM: Everyone in the studio (bar Jeremy Paxman) is so young. We're so old. Damn it.

8:15PM: -5? MINUS FIVE? I bet Conway's regretting the bow tie now.

8:17PM: ...not the best advert for Welsh education, this.

8:17PM: Cardiff fucked it.

8:19PM: Colleran's a young Seth MacFarlane.

8:20PM: Just one more zero and Cardiff and Southampton will be neck-and-neck.

8:23PM: ...Jones' open mouth.

8:25PM: ...what makes it worse: you know Conway's bow tie ISN'T a clip-on.

8:26PM: STOP CALLING THEM KELVIN.

8:27PM: Cardiff's team are sponsored by sadness.

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