Load of Sh*t.


Packs of Andrex Toilet Tissue now have instructions on the back; this is what it’s come to.

I took a photo of this.


Has society reached the stage when it needs its hand held through everything*? Do 3.5 billion years of evolution and 200,000 years of human existence amount to this? If you’re of a suitable age and intelligence to read Andrex’s mini manual, surely…surely… you're already armed with this information. You’d know the basics at least. The average child can wipe their own bum at three and read simple sentences at six. By the time you can decipher Andrex’s five-stage Clean Routine, Andrex’s five-stage Clean Routine has been rendered obsolete.

I also zoomed into it.
 

It’s not as if they're imparting anything groundbreaking. There was no rude awakening for me. Stage Three isn’t on my personal agenda, but I don’t fall for subliminal advertising. I suspect their keenness to bring another Andrex product into the equation was the reason for the advice in the first place.

Stage Two is the most egg-sucking of them all. ‘Wipe from front to back until clean’, you say? I thought you did it until you were bored of it. 

Andrex sounds like a futuristic Andrew. Just sayin'. 

*Not literally, in this instance.

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