Yesterday, I visited my mum for Christmas - and while
I was there, I spotted something that drove my OCD through the roof.
I noticed it when I popped upstairs to use her
bathroom (I won't share too many details). Whilst using the facilities, I looked
down to see an ornament sitting next to the toilet with 'STARBOARD' written on
it.
My problem was the ornament was situated on the port-side
of the room.
(I know: I'm pathetic.)
If I'm honest, I wasn't certain - but being the sort
of person I am, I looked it up (thank God for Wikipedia). I was right:
'port' is left and 'starboard' is right; meanwhile, my mum's objet d'art was
sitting in the port position, burning a hole into my retina.
I don't know why it bothered me so much. It must be the seaman in me (...steady). My grandfather was
in the navy; if he'd ever used my mum's bathroom, he never would have
stood for it (unless he was going for a wee).
I could move the ornament; that would be rude. I just had to
accept it was in the wrong place and concentrate on the job in hand (horrific mental image).
I probably needn't have worried:
technically, port and starboard are determined by
whether you are facing the bow of the boat or not; if the toilet was the vessel and I was sitting on it, the ornament would have been to my right, in the correct position.
When it comes to judging the naval bearings of my mother's bathroom, it's all a matter of perspective.