Little Victories.
I derive far too much pleasure and satisfaction from being
the first person off of a train and through the ticket barrier.
I consciously plan ahead for it. It's pathetic. I'll position myself in the optimum carriage (the second from the front for Hitchin; the first for King's Cross) and will be by the door with my ticket in my hand before we pull into the platform.
I do this because: (1) I'm late, (2) it's late, or (3) because I'm a bit of a dick.
I'm never rude about it. I don't push and shove; I use subtlety and stealth to ensure I'm out first.
If alighting from public transport was an Olympic sport, I'd probably be a multiple gold medallist.