Complete Cut.


Today I had my hair cut twice.

This might sound like the height of excess. Perhaps you think I’ve got a problem: an addiction to trimming that’s never satiated. Either that, or my hair just grows at an alarming rate.

Neither of the above are true; the reason for today’s literal double-header was the first haircut was so disastrous I needed another barber to clean up the hatchet job.

I’ve visited the first shop previously without incident. I’m usually quite happy with the results. I’d never seen this particular guy in there before, though; I’m starting to wonder if he was just another customer chancing his arm. 

It certainly didn't seem like he'd ever held a pair of scissors.

He was the only person in the shop when I arrived. Perhaps the real barber was being held hostage in a room around the back. (Should I phone someone about this?)

I didn’t realise how bad my haircut was until the last few snips. This showed talent in itself; he'd somehow managed to disguise his inability until the final moment.

It was awful. The top had been left largely untouched, while the sides looked like he’d been at them with a strimmer. I looked like a cross between a scarecrow and Egon Spengler.

I walked back to my flat in silence. I felt like a man condemned; a man condemned to an appalling haircut.

I took one look at myself in my bathroom mirror and knew I couldn’t leave things. Not even washing would make it look better; I’d have to get it sorted.

Thankfully I live just around the corner from another barbershop. I went in and explained what had happened – and even showed the guy my headshot on my phone, to give him an idea of how it was meant to look.

He did a great repair job. It may be much shorter than I’d originally wanted – but it now looks a lot less like a family of pigeons have been nesting in it.

I'll never go back to the other barbershop. I may even take a longer route into town over the next few weeks, so I don't have to walk past it; I don't want the first guy to notice my second haircut.

The things I do to avoid confrontation.

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