Snowood Elwood.

Judging from all the barking on this morning's walk, I've concluded that my dog's previous owner was an evil snowman.

 His unease at the sight of the icy figure standing motionless (as they do) on the playing field close to where I live was patent from the offset, when he crossed to the other side of me, obviously confident I'd fight it off. Then, when it became clear I wasn't going to, he decided to grasp the nettle; switching from anxiety to fury as he tried to warn the rotund, inappropriately-dressed albino off.

 Bless him for his persistence, which was all the more marked when you consider I could count the times I've heard him bark on the fingers of one finger, or thereabouts. And yet he kept going for the duration of our walk around the field's perimeter, only worsening when he spotted a second snowman just a few feet away; he must have thought they were working together, like a pair of naked pale thugs. It was so bad I ended up taking a different route home just to avoid passing them again.

 The rest of our walk was stress-free once we'd got away from Raymond Briggs' two cohorts, when Elwood made the most of playing in the snow. It made me wonder how much he'd done this in the past. Whatever the case, he was very inquisitive, and by the time we got to the top of Windmill Hill he made the most of the view as I did too. It's funny to think neither of us would have seen it a few months ago; I'm sure we're both better for it.

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Image
Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera
Read more

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce
Read more

Hoo-ray and up She Rises.

So much has happened since my last post in March that this blog risks sounding like an itinerary. The main news is that Hitchin Mostly Comedy will return in the summer at a new venue, the Queen Mother Theatre . The road to this decision was convoluted, though enough fell into place en route to leave me optimistic about this new start. The catalyst was a survey I ran via our mailing list a few months back, in which I asked, "If the club returned in the current climate, with tickets still around £15 (and with similar line-ups), would you still attend?"; the response to which, in simple terms, was a resounding yes. Nearly 250 mailing list subscribers responded in a single week, with around a hundred also taking the option to leave some feedback. And only two people were abusive, which counts as a win when you consider they posted their comments online anonymously. Imagine how many more insults we would have received if the comedy club was a woman. Particularly if she was Diane
Read more