'University Challenged: Week Twenty-six' (05.02.18)


Tonight’s University Challenge saw a Cambridge college take on a college in Oxford; is it me, or are the teams always from there?

I know there are a number of colleges in both cities, and I know both cities are famed for their top-quality education (you may not be aware of this) but still, can’t some other places have a crack of the whip? I want to see scarily well-read students from different privileged backgrounds, and not just the same two boat-race locations going at it; if not, I’m going to write a strongly-worded letter to Points of View (but only if it’s read out on the air by someone with suitable vocal standing; James Earl Jones, perhaps?)

See below for my tweets about tonight's show:

Fitzwilliam - Cambridge Vs. Merton - Oxford (05.02.18)

8:33PM: Typical two-out-of-four Theo team average.

8:34PM: Tindall killed five people...and that's just today.

8:35PM: Tindall's hair and Fuzzy Felt have the same consistency.

8:36PM: Maloney and I share the same MP. This makes me famous.

8:38PM: Oxlade. So frowny; so high-voiced; so insistent.

8:40PM: REGISTRAR: "Do you, Jeremy Dixon Paxman, take ________ to be your lawful wedded wife?" 
PAXMAN: ".........no".

8:41PM: I'd like to shave the word "NO" into the back of Jeremy Paxman's head.

8:42PM: Woodland's eyebrows look like tadpoles with elongated tails.

8:44PM: You can only just see it, but Howe has tassels on his sleeves. HE HAS TASSELS ON HIS SLEEVES. 

(For fuck's sake.)

8:48PM: How good it was of Martin Bell to loan Wiberg his jacket.

8:48PM: I love a round on granite buildings.

8:50PM: Well, I got 'Sunday in the Park with George' and 'Little Shop of Horrors'. That's about my limit.

8:51PM: Tindall's favourite film franchise is 'Saw'.

8:52PM: Jimmy Hill was the leader of the Qin Dynasty.

8:54PM: The longer you look at Oxlade, the closer together his eyes get.

8:57PM: Woodland speaks like her trachea's stuffed with cotton wool.

8:58PM: Woodland is dressed like your mum's English teacher.

8:59PM: Fitzwilliam Tindall sounds like a posh person's dating app.

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