Monday, 26 February 2018

'University Challenged: Week twenty-nine (20.02.18)

I gave myself time off from last week's University Challenge for good behaviour, but tonight i was back with a bitchy vengeance.

While no-one who's appeared in this series is anywhere near the classic comedy of Monkman at his most urgent, at least Newcastle have Lowery up their further-educated sleeves. He's a sight to behold really, with his bowtie and tweed jacket; he's anachronistic to a massive degree to say the least.

It's like he didn't get the twe-team memo that said smart casual and opted for the outfit he'd normally were around their house; it reeks of ambition and winds up making him look like a gimp; in that case, he's probably in the right place. 

Keeping our new parking spaces at Wmbley/
8:35PM: Rosie McKeown can't even say her own name, for Christ's sake.

8:35PM: Devine-Stoneman's jawline makes me jealous.

8:36PM: Lowery isn't a contestant, he's a ghost.

8:37PM: Lowery's never done any heavy lifting in his life.

8:39PM: I exclaim "Look at him", every time Lowery comes onscreen.

8:40PM: Lowery has never been in Sports Direct. That's a fact.

8:44PM: Places Lowery hasn't been:
•A Toby Carvery.
•A Laser Quest
 •Shoe Zone. 
•Family Bargains. 
...I'm jealous, in a way.

8:47PM: Lowery's outfit is available as #UniversityChallenge fancy dress.

8:49PM: Little-known fact: #UniversityChallenge is recorded in a vacuum, hence the lack of atmosphere.

8:57PM: least I knew the Billy Joel stuff.

8:59PM: The irony is, that's Lowery dressed down.

9:00PM: The last time Lowery heard a gong preceeded dinner.
8:52PM: I like to imagine the rest of Lowery's family lounging around in sweatpants and sleeveless vests.
8:54PM: Lowery's never flown by Easyjet.

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