University Challenged: Volume Four (30.11.15)


I’m not a bully. To be one is would mean displaying some unpleasant personal traits. While there’s nothing to be gained from being nasty, for some reason University Challenge encourages my worst side. See below for this week’s perhaps unnecessary tweets.



8:04pm: Kitchen, in the kitchen, with the dagger.

8:05pm: The player far left in York's team's name was just a noise.

8:05pm: York's mascot: excessive.

8:06pm: York's mascot: big - or York's team: small?

8:07pm: York's Cole must bring their average of twenty-two up.

8:08pm: Morton's hair gets paler the more you look at it.

8:09pm: Kitchen's hair looks like a cross between a mop and a gouged out Tribble.

8:09pm: Cole's neckline isn't fooling anyone.

8:10pm: Christ's Midha is completely emotionless.

8:11pm: Morton's hair colour faded in the wash.

8:13pm: Witnessing the horrific crime Kitchen committed turned Morton's hair white and rendered Midha emotionless.

8:14pm: Where do you even source a rubber duck that big?

8:15pm: York's Smith's hair suggests his mum couldn't find a bowl big enough.

8:16pm: #UniversityChallenge brings out my much-suppressed inner Internet troll.

8:18pm: York's McLoughin's intense smugness isn't warranted.

8:20pm: Cambridge's Morton is the secret third member of The Proclaimers who was left too long in the wash.

8:25pm: Carrying that giant rubber duck to the studio must have made whoever did it feel self-conscious.

8:26pm: For f**k's sake McLoughlin: SIT UP STRAIGHT.

8:27pm: York's Smith's hair is completely devoid of product.

8:28pm: Paxman's constant impatience suggests he's always double-booked.

8:30pm: In the 1990s, Christ's Kitchen fronted Kula Shaker.

8:30pm: Sorry. Everybody.

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