Today's Blog is CANCELLED.


I sometimes wonder if I only make arrangements to give me something else to find difficult to pull out of last-minute.

Tonight’s a case in point. I was meant to go to my meditation class, which has just started up again after its half term break, but as my departure time drew closer, I began to um and ah about whether I wanted to go. I had good reason: I’m planning to attend an open mic gig in London tomorrow in hope of picking up a walk-in spot to try out some material, and because I’m meeting up with a friend during the day, I won’t have much time to prepare for it. I’d meant to do more work on my set today, but because I met up with another friend – yes, I have two - I didn’t get as much done as I’d like. I suddenly realised that if I didn’t attend the class tonight, I’d get the chance to run my set, and write this, and not feel so pressured tomorrow.

The problem is, if I don’t do something I’m meant to, I feel very guilty about it. I start to worry about whether I've made the right choice. Will tonight’s meditation class be the one that changes my life? Will my teacher pull me to one side and slip me the answer to existence?

I tend to see things as either black or white, or all or nothing. I forget that there are always shades of grey. I lose track of the fact I have a right to choose. I don’t have to go to any class if I don’t want to, and I don’t even need a reason. Missing one event won’t be my biggest mistake.

A wise man once said, “Other than the end of the world, nothing’s the end of the world”. That wise man was me. Wise, as in ‘wise guy’.

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