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Sucker.


Is it wrong to get unfeasibly excited by how well my hoover works?

I’m not sure what classes as ‘unfeasibly excited’ within this context. It’s possible that any level of enthusiasm is too much. Still, today I couldn’t help myself.

For quite some time, my hoover has been shit. Unequivocally shit. Pushing it around my flat was like a token gesture. The amount of dust it collected was negligible; I could pick up more by crawling about on my hands and knees as I constantly inhaled.
  
I’d taken it apart a couple of times to have a good poke around, even designating a specific pen for the job (henceforth known as the ‘hoover pen’). Nothing seemed to make any difference.

Then, cleverly, my girlfriend washed out all of its various innards. Now, it’s like the ZX Spectrum +2 of household implements (if up until then, you'd owned the inferior ZX Spectrum+ model).

I probably should have thought of a more universal simile. What I’m trying to say is, “It’s working well”. I’m almost tempted to trample a load of dirt into the carpet, so I can enjoy how quick my hoover picks it up.  

(Don’t let it be said that I don’t know how to live.)

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