Bargain C**t.


I caught a bit of BBC2’s The Great Antiques Map of Britain by accident yesterday evening. If Tim Wonnacott had said “orf” once more I'd have staved my own head in.

There's something about him that's unsavoury. I can’t quite pinpoint it. I’m not convinced he’s a real person. If he is, his hair isn’t. He comes over as a pastiche; like the cliché of an antiques enthusiast. It’s as if David Dickinson giving up Bargain Hunt caused its executives to panic and draft in an actor as replacement. Either that, or they formed him from plastic.

Everything about him is an affectation. Does he need to wear glasses on a chain? Couldn't he invest in some bifocals. Ideally ones without novelty frames: the prerequisite of a man bereft of personality. Tim Wonnacott? Tim Wonnacock.

I saw most of his performances on last year’s Strictly. Whenever he pulled a stern face he looked like Hitler. It was not so much Mein Kampf as Mein Camp. Sorry. That's the best I can manage.  

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