Suspicious Shopping.

Browsing the kids’ section of various charity shops this morning for a costume for the play I'm in made me feel very suspicious.

I don’t know why. I could have been a young(ish) parent on the lookout for a new (old) outfit for my child. Even though I wasn’t, I still had a valid excuse - and yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was up to something nefarious.

It didn’t help that I wasn’t looking for anything specific. Just something small, that would barely fit. It didn’t even matter if it was for a boy or a girl, as long as it made me look ridiculous. I just hadn’t factored in also looking stupid while I bought it.

The worst shop of all was the British Heart Foundation. The man behind the counter eyeballed me as I walked around the store. His expression when I finally swooped on the toddlers’ section was priceless.

‘Thought as much’ it said. ‘I bloody thought as much.’

I felt like a man who’s gone into a newsagent to buy porn, then pretends to browse other magazines beforehand to save face. 

Next time, I’m taking someone with me.

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