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Street Fighter.


I find walking through town on a Saturday extremely stressful.

There are far too many people about, most of whom aren’t looking where they’re going. Maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s me. Perhaps I'm the only one with the problem.

It doesn’t help that I suffer from labyrinthitis on and off. I know it sounds like an 80s David Bowie movie vehicle, but it’s not. It’s a virus-induced inflammation of the inner ear that causes permanent damage, which sends confusing messages to the brain regarding balance.

(Call me Mr NHS Direct.)

When it hits, I feel like the world is spinning around me. It takes all my concentration not to fall over. What makes it worse is no-one knows anything is wrong except for you; walk into someone by mistake and they just think you’re a dick.

It also affects my concentration. Even writing this was a challenge. Not just ‘this’, but every word around it. I’m confusing the point.

As a result, I try to restrict my town centre visits to off-peak times. I'll also pick the least crowded route. I’m like a strictly-timetabled hermit. Why I chose a career in front of an audience is beyond me. I would have been a lot better off operating a lighthouse.

(Bagsy The Needles.)

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