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Caught by the Fuzz.


Today I saw a policeman use a urinal: the ultimate leveller.

(I don't mean Mark Chadwick.)

Are they allowed to empty their bladder in full view of the public on duty? Seeing him stand there took away all the mystique. It also lowered his status. He's hardly in a position to uphold the law when he's up, holding his thingy.

(Insert a truncheon joke here.)

What would he have done if I'd committed a crime while he was in mid-flow? I can't see him running after me. That would be horrific. He'd need exceptional control to ‘close the faucet’. Either that, or he’d have to chase me like a crab so as to not soil his uniform. 

He’d technically be breaking the law himself. Perhaps our two crimes would cancel each other out. It would make for an amusing game of cat and mouse.

I saw this Pee-C in the public toilets at the Houses of Parliament. It says a lot about my state of mind that I visited both the House of Commons and the House of Lords today, and went up Big Ben, yet these things only serve as a footnote. I must change my outlook. 

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