Tell Me It's Not True.


I was once name-checked during a performance of the musical Blood Brothers.  

It’s worth clarifying that it wasn't an official mention. Willy Russell didn't sanction it. It also wasn’t uttered by a Nolan. It may have been a covert name-check, but it was a name-check nevertheless.

I had a friend in the show at the time. I won’t tell you who he was, because I don't want to get Phil Maggs into trouble. One week, Phil played Orchard Theatre in Dartford. I took my dad to see it.

My unexpected aural appearance took place during a scene set in an adult cinema (obviously). I listened to the actors on stage at first, before being gradually drawn toward the pornographic soundtrack.

“Ooh…ahh…uhhh” went the woman in the film.
“Oooh…ehh…Ephgrave” went the man.
Had I heard that correctly?
"Ephgrave...Ephgrave...EPHGRAVE."
Apparently I had.

It was at this point that I realised the grunting and groaning was coming from an off-stage booth. Phil was one of the two voices. The namedropping became more obvious as the scene progressed. I turned to my dad, who was oblivious.

It’s not every day that you are alluded to in an Olivier-Award-Winning Musical. I wonder if also made it into the GCSE set text.


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