Drive My Cornetto.


Yesterday, a man drove past me whilst eating a Cornetto. His nonchalance was impressive.

Not only was he tucking into an ice cream from behind the wheel, he also managed to wave his thanks to me for letting him past and then take a roundabout. Either he's the best driver I’ve ever seen, or the most negligent. I can’t, for the life of me, work out which.

I don’t think he’d thought the situation through. Starting a Cornetto in transit may be fine, but what happens when you reach the latter stages? Separating the wrapper from the cornet can be a tricky business. You’d have to pull into a layby to finish it.

At least he wasn’t as bad as the motorist I once spotted in an Irish petrol station, who refuelled her car whilst holding a lit cigarette in the same hand as the pump. That time, my heart was truly in my mouth.

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