Enthusiasm Chasm.

I know I've mentioned it before, but I feel entirely zapped of creativity at the moment; circumstances are such that I'd currently struggle to define myself as a comedian, or anything else.

At best, I'd put myself as a frustrated comedy promoter in that all I'm doing is keeping my club ticking over post-Edinburgh without deriving much joy from it. My enthusiasm has taken a severe dip in the wake of attempting to settle my private situation and the knock to my confidence was compounded by the loss of my dad and by pulling Edinburgh, despite the attention and encouragement I'd received in advance; I feel like I conned the people who donated to my JustGiving page, despite the fact that cancelling the run cost more than the money I raised to do it.

Outside of running the club, I can keep a low profile for awhile - I'm not going up for castings and the Mostly gigs are the only performance dates in the diary - but I'd still sooner not be doing stand-up then either as I'm just not in the right mindset; I feel like the worst version of me, both personally and creatively. I'm sure some time off will help me reframe things and start enjoying my work again, but, the problem is I can't sit still for long as, if I'm thinking of writing a new show next year - which was basically the plan - I'll have to start laying the foundations soon.

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