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Corbett's Protégé.


When I was young, I had some Sooty, Sweep and Soo puppets. Bizarrely, I owned two Soos: one with a skirt and one without.

This wasn’t for sexual purposes; I was only two, for goodness’ sake. I don’t think they came in a job lot; I always assumed they were sold separately. But why the extra Soo? Did I wear the first one out? I’d have to ask my parents, though I doubt that they’d remember. Perhaps they got me a Soo first, to see if I took to it, before awarding me with the whole set. I’ve always had a penchant for secondary characters.

Owning only Soo would be weird. It’s too specific. Having just Sooty would be fine as he’s the lead, and Sweep has the extra novelty of a squeaker – but there’s something unsavoury about a solitary Soo. Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe this gives a shocking insight into my thoughts on lady pandas: they’re black-eyed harlots (whatever their reluctance to procreate might suggest).

My Sooty, Sweep and two Soos weren’t the sum total of my puppet collection. I also had a Gordon the Gopher and a full-size Emu (à la Rod Hull and Emu). I owned an excellent facsimile of Kermit the Frog - except his arms weren’t on sticks - and a cuddly Oscar the Grouch without the bin. These toys made up for my lack of friends or siblings; I didn’t meet another child until I was eighteen, which was awkward, as I wasn’t still a child then.

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