Skip to main content

The Chav of Punctuation.

There is no quicker way to weaken a jokey statement than using an exclamation mark!

See, I told you.

For me, exclamation marks are akin to wearing a novelty tie or t-shirt; seldom justified and the 'joke' wears thin almost as soon as it's started. It's not that they don't have their place (if I was trapped down a mineshaft I'd probably use one) - but that place isn't at the end of an amusing sentence.
 
Doing this usually suggests you’ve lost faith in your own sense of humour, and have tacked on some rogue punctuation last-minute to hammer the point home; “Look, Mum. I’M BEING FUNNY”. You might as well have attached an MP3 of a swanee whistle, or a short GIF of you shrugging at the camera.

(I know all my computer terminology.)

If Michael McIntyre was a punctuation point he’d be an exclamation mark: a big, fat one in Comic Sans.

 

Sometimes, if I’m writing a text or an email to someone who doesn’t know me very well, then the occasional exclamation mark will slip through the net. I’m not proud of myself when I do this – but it saves potential embarrassment. Sometimes you can be a little bit too dry.
 
If I’m being informal, I’d much rather opt for a smiley or a winky face. This only applies to written correspondence, though; saving the appropriate facial expression to the end of a real conversation is not to be encouraged.

Also, never use more than one exclamation mark, unless you’re Brian Blessed.
  
I was once sat with a friend who'd just received an irate text from a work colleague. It was signed off with a string of question marks and exclamation marks alternating in a haphazard fashion. If the sender had tried to represent this emotion in person he would have looked like he was having some kind of facial seizure.

I'd quite like to have seen it.
 
As far as I'm concerned, the only other time an exclamation mark is justified is when jazzing up a one-word title of a potential musical. 

"Adolf!', anyone?
 

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...

Comedy That's Worth a Letch.

Today, I nipped to Letchworth to meet with illustrator (and one-time - two-time - comedy poet) Mushybees, to discuss an event Mostly Comedy will act as surrogate parents to as part of Letchworth’s Arts Takeover in a couple of weeks. Months ago he got into contact to see if we’d be up for co-organising a comedy stage as part of Letchworth’s weekend of arts-based attractions in July; something I’d provisionally said yes to, before things got hectic in the lead-up to Edinburgh and we didn’t take it any further. Despite not getting down to the nitty-gritty straight away, we managed to pull a line-up together in a back-and-forth of emails yesterday, leading to me getting Glyn’s blessing and us deciding we’d officially go ahead with it (whatever ‘officially’ means in this context). In reality, it’s not complicated: from 12pm until 6pm-ish on the 22 nd July, Glyn, Mushybees and I will host four Edinburgh previews from four acts (including me), before Nor...