taP namtsoP


This morning I looked out of my kitchen window and saw a Royal Mail van reversing so quickly and perfectly around my estate that – just for a moment – I thought the world was rewinding.

I should probably point out that it was first thing in the morning; early enough for me to briefly forget that a rewinding Royal Mail van was an impossibility. It was but a fleeting moment – but boy, was that fleeting moment convincing.

I must stop eating hash cakes for breakfast.

It’s an unusual feeling when the world presents you with moments like this, with normality swiftly turned on its head. It’s particularly vexing when you’re the only person around to witness it; like the Universe is making a personal joke at your expense.

It’s a bit like the time I accidentally knocked over the draining rack next to my sink whilst washing up – and as it clattered to the ground it perfectly replicated the opening drum-fill to ‘Rock With You’ by Michael Jackson.

 

No-one else heard it – though even if they did, they probably wouldn’t have made the same connection.

It’s guess it’s just a question of how you look at things - and sometimes the strangest sources can lead you to question the nature of your own existence. The other day I was watching ‘The Hairy Bikers’ on BBC2 - and as Si King (the lighter-bearded biker) went to bite into some tiny snack or other, Dave Marks (the Stictly Come Dancing biker) pointed out that it could in fact be ten feet high and Si was some kind of giant.

“After all”, he said. “Size is all a matter of relativity”.  

Those motorcycling chefs have a pair of wise-but-hairy heads on their shoulders.

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