mostly david ephgrave

I’ve been deaf in my right ear all day today, thanks to some kind of Eustachian tube shenanigans, either caused by a low-level infection or just a build-up of earwax (lovely image) and it’s really been getting me down. I had similar problems off and on towards the end of my time in Edinburgh, which I took just to be illustrative of me being run down. I’d fully intended to see the doctor when I got home, only to find it had seemed to clear up - until today that is, when I’ve spent the whole day feeling like I’m underwater; it’s disorientating and irritating in equal measure, and may result in me buying an ear trumpet (which is the best kind of brass instrument). I’ve had a long history or ear problems, from suffering terribly painful infections as a child resulting in me having grommets fitted, to being hit with labyrinthitis in 2010: a condition that has never really gone. I’m not thinking for a moment this instance will be anything as bad as the t...

I take issue with people who describe themselves as ‘award-winning’ on social media when the statement is about as vague as you can get. This admittedly comes from someone who mentions his inclusion in a couple of ‘funniest jokes at the Fringe’ lists in his byline on Twitter, but at least he (or I) isn’t (or am not) alluding to an accolade without bothering with specifics; when someone does that, I assume they’re missing it out on purpose, and the prize in question was probably a swimming certificate. Actually, the slightly boastful nature of my Twitter bio makes me a little uncomfortable if I'm honest, as I find any self-aggrandizing a bit smug and egocentric; the best and most talented people don’t feel the need to big themselves up as their ability speaks for itself, though in my case, I’m more likely to stray too far into putting myself down territory. In reality, I know I’m over-thinking it, as you can’t be a performer without a li...

This sign’s just plain offensive. I’m surprised something so politically incorrect got past any council debate. I know it's been put up to protect the kids in question, but there’s still no need to cast judgement; they can’t help not being as adept or intelligent as their contemporaries. How can they expect to improve their mental capabilities if they’re forced to stay amongst their own? I suppose at least it acts as a precaution, and gives anyone driving through the neighbourhood a heads-up. While the choice of language is questionable, the motivation was sound; if it prevents just one slow child from being mown down, it’s been justified. All joking aside, it’s things like this that prove why punctuation is so important, as without it, the meaning is lost. It’s also vital to consider the choice of wording. It reminds me of a poster I spotted outslde my local hospital that said ‘Stop Smoking for Free’; it’s not like cigarettes are a...

One mystery I never solved while in Edinburgh last month was why the window to the flat opposite my digs was completely covered in tinfoil. I can’t help but wonder if the motivation for this chintzy curtain-substitute was nefarious. Were they growing weed? Or were they trying to protect themselves from being spied on by Major League Baseball, like Bart Simpson on his anti-ADHD medication? While it may have just been insulation or to help black out the sun so they could sleep, this seems unlikely, as aluminium's not the easiest material to take down quickly if you’re too hot or it’s time to get up. Funnily enough, my last run-in with a tinfoil-covered window was in Edinburgh too, when the people running the venue where I teched my friend Fraser’s show last year decided this would be the best substance to block out the daylight and give the option of a blackout, without taking into account the First Rule of the Fringe: any room where there...

Week Three of the Bake Off and - judging from my blog - it’s clearly the time of year when I’m most likely to be found live-tweeting along with some TV competition or other. The theme for tonight’s show was bread, which inevitably led to Paul Hollywood ruling the roost, what with it being his forte. Perhaps surprisingly, he seemed in a particularly good mood and wasn’t particularly scathing of anything; he even went so far as to trade places with Steven, gleefully threatening to go home after being faced with his immaculate baked handbag (a sentence I never thought I’d write). See below for my Bread Week twitter commentary (or elsewhere if you’re not interested): 8:01PM: Three minutes in and Stacey's fingering dough; I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this. 8:02PM: James: "I'm not a great one for Bread Week"; has he done this before? 8:05PM: Liam, snorting cinnamon on prime-time television; this is ...

The result of today's University Challenge was a fair representation of how poorly Sheffield Hallam played, though at least there were partially saved by the inclusion of a waist coat (worn in this instance by the emotionally barren Hanson). See below for my twitter ramblings tonight: Sheffield Hallam Vs. Newcastle (11.01.17) 8:02PM: Hanson: once a band, now a psychopath. 8:02PM: Old Father Simkins. 8:03PM: Lowery's hairstyle was the only thatched roof in London at time of recording. 8:04PM: Doyle's eyes have seen things. Bad, bad things. 8:06PM: Waistcoats (Hanson) and bow ties (Lowery) on young people make me deeply suspicious. 8:08PM: Doyle was the only one of the four to show remorse as they stood beside the shallow grave. 8:09PM: That's not hair on Lowery's head, that's a pelt. 8:12PM: A year of sleep wouldn't obliterate the dark circles from Doyle's eyes; the carnage witnessed is to...

See below for the press release I put together for the next Hitchin Mostly Comedy, which takes place just under two week's away. It's a hell of a line-up and an appropriate way to spend the gig before our ninth anniversary date in October; it's testament to how good our bills have become that I almost forgot we had Reginald D Hunter ahead until the other day; it looks set to be a memorable night. Press Release – 07.09.17 mostly comedy a monthly comedy club, at the sun hotel in hitchin While 21 st September’s Sun Hotel Hitchin Mostly Comedy with REGINALD D HUNTER has been officially sold out since July, there’s still a good chance of snapping up return tickets on the night. Hunter is one of the UK comedy scene’s best-known performers and is a regular on such primetime TV shows as Have I Got News For You, QI,  8 Out Of 10 Cats and Never Mind The Buzzcocks. He was born in Albany in Georgia in 1969 and initially travelle...