Don't Stop Me Now.


Today, I accidentally stopped a funeral procession at a pelican crossing. Was this a massive faux pas?

By the time I’d spotted them, I’d already pressed the button. It was already too late. Grief had no place between me and the other side of the road. You don’t have right of way over a corpse every day.

I didn’t like the fact that I’d had an impact on the running time of the ceremony. Suddenly, without warning, I was a part of their unhappy day. I hope they didn’t miss their slot. I wouldn’t want that on my conscience.

It’s not as if they were travelling fast enough that I couldn’t cross in front of them without the assistance of traffic lights. Mourners by their nature don’t tend to travel fast. Either way, I’m sure they hated me. How dare I sneak in at the last minute when they’re trying to get the body to its final resting place? I’m nothing, if not inconsiderate. It could have been worse though: it could have been an ambulance. I’m not sure what would have happened there.

I bet there was a lot of tutting from the undertaker. Still, if they’ve got a problem with adhering to the green cross code, that’s their funeral.

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