Questionable Shopper.


The only things I’ve ever bought on eBay are a kangaroo suit and a gimp mask.

I should explain before you think they were for something nefarious. They're both props. The mask was for a sketch and the skin costume was for a script reading; click here - and see below - for proof.

A marsupial, Michael Barrymore and me.

Despite having an alibi, my eBay history concerns me. I don’t like the impression it creates. I wouldn’t trust someone who’s purchased that and nothing else. Do eBay have a panic button? If so, I wonder what third item would result in a custodial sentence.

What if GCHQ are putting together a profile of me? I’d hate my ownership of a leather face garment and a marsupial outfit to affect my job prospects. I suppose it could be worse. I could have bought this too.


That is the most terrifying fancy dress costume on the planet. Still. Free delivery.

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