Skip to main content

Personal Space.

This picture sums up the attitude of the general public in a nutshell for me.

Tit.

I spotted this classic example of looking-out-for-number-one parking at Hitchin Station a few months ago and it really got under my skin. While I can’t be certain the Mercedes’ owner was the one at fault - they may have been hamstrung by vehicles either side of them that are now gone - it’s pretty fair to say they were the to blame; the car's position's too flagrant to be an accident. And I bet they felt they had the perfect excuse: they're the centre of the Universe. And when the centre of the Universe risks missing their train, everyone else’s rights go out of the window. To not be selfish is to show weakness; this is their film and they’re the central character: they’re Steven Seagal, okay?

While I hate sexual stereotyping, this may be the only time in human history where we can say without a shadow of a doubt that the car's owner was a man; I’d stake my life on it. Not just a man, but one whose testicles need so much breathing space his legs are permanently spread at a perfect 180° angle like the yawning of a snake with a disengaged jaw. Not that you’d be able to sit next to him anyway, as his bag is so valuable it needs a seat - nay, a whole carriage - to itself too.

I never understand how people can become so self-centred, when there must have been ample opportunity for a parent, guardian, sibling, friend or teacher to put them right. Life should have presented them with so much evidence to the contrary; so many chances to nip their appalling behavior in the bud have been missed. If there’s any justice, their manspreading will result in permanent hip damage; I hope they wind up looking like a mantrap with a broken spring. 

Popular posts from this blog

Not The Bayeux One.

The Carole King album Tapestry has been my 'getting-ready-in-the-morning' soundtrack for the past few weeks.  It's been a favourite album ever since I was a student, which makes for a pleasantly gentle way to usher in the start of a day. I've always been a fan of a well-crafted song, which is something of a Carole King hallmark, ever since she started writing with her first husband in the early Sixties. Tapestry may be an unimaginative choice for a favourite LP, as it suggests I haven't delved that far into her career, but it's still an undoubted classic; anything with '(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman', 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' and 'You've Got A Friend' on it can't really fail; if nothing else, it proves she likes writing songs with long titles.  Next month, she's set to perform the album live in its entirety for the first time at a gig in Hyde Park, which I would have loved to have gone to, if it weren...

Hitchin is Mine.

As of six o’clock tonight, I take over the Hitchin is Yours Twitter account for a week; a stewardship I’m anxious to get right. I’m proud of my hometown. It’s a great place to live, with so much going for it. I've always sold it to my non-Hitchinite friends; so much so, that a lot have gone on to move here. Any town expansion plans are partly my fault. Feel free to picket outside my house. I love its history and architecture. Take St Mary’s Church, for example. The building is beautiful inside and out, and huge for a town of our size. There has been a place of worship on site since the 7 th Century. Much of the present building dates from the 1300s. You wouldn't get that in America. (Don't forget the British Schools Museum too.)  Hitchin is a hive for creative people and a hub for the arts. It boast two theatres, two comedy clubs, a couple of art galleries, a festival for world music and a thriving music scene. This drew...

'Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream..."

While I’ve been practising meditation for quite some time now, I’ve recently taken to using the mindfulness app 'Headspace' . If you’ve never meditated before, or you’re an old hand at it, it’s a great resource, offering daily ten-minute guided meditations that create a sense of progress, rather than stagnating and going through the same process every day. Until I started using the app, I’d often listen to a handful of audio guided meditations I have on my phone in case of a brain emergency. If you see me with my eyes closed and my earphones in on public transport, I’m probably doing this (unless I’m sleeping and using this blog as an elaborate alibi). While the tracks on my phone are great, they can get a little repetitive as I become too familiar with them and start to anticipate everything the person on the recording will say. This is where Headspace is great, as it offers you a daily course with a different focus each day, as well as pl...