mostly david ephgrave

At least when Celebs Go Dating starts on E4 tonight, everyone involved will have a TV credit. ...anyone? I keep seeing the series trailed on Channel 4 in the mornings and I can honestly say I don’t recognise a single person on it; not even slightly. I know fame is subjective, but by the law of averages you’d think I'd be familiar with at least one of the eight people taking part; the definition of celebrity is being stretched so far by the programme's producers, I almost expect to see myself among the line-up. This is what’s wrong with the world today, at least as far as popular culture is concerned (and I’m well aware this makes me sound like someone’s grandparent). There once was a time when we’d celebrate talented people for making some kind of achievement, but not any more; now, all you need to be in the public eye is a vapid face and a questionable haircut. These days, you can be branded a celebrity just for appearing on a ...

I have an alarming habit of passing famous people on the street.   It happens often enough for me to worry I’m an unwitting stalker. If I found a copy of The Catcher in the Rye in my house, I’d check in to my local police station, offering myself up for voluntary arrest. Either that, or get a job writing the Mirror’s 3am column. They’re not fussy. They'd accept stories in potato print. It started when I saw Frank Carson in the mid-90s, drinking a can of lager on a Stevenage park bench. That opened up the floodgates. Now the list is endless. I’ve seen Suggs so many times I've lost count; the most notable being at The Enterprise Pub in Camden, when Madness were rehearsing in the same room after us. They didn’t do their trademark walk as they passed us on the stairs, which made me feel cheated. I spotted David Tennant on the Tube, making me terrified of an imminent Cyberman attack. I didn’t fancy being assimilated. I’ve had Boris Johnson cycle past me (stupid hair...