mostly david ephgrave

It's fair to say my last week on the Fringe didn't progress as I intended. The first enemy at the gate was my old friend, the vestibular migraine, which surfaced a couple of times over the first few weeks like a sinister prelude for what lay ahead. Then on the penultimate weekend, what started as a low-level toothache escalated to the point that I had to call 111 to arrange an emergency appointment for a suspected abscess (good times). I hadn't realised how swollen my bottom jaw was because my beard had concealed it the same way it hides my hideousness from day to day. By last Monday evening, it was extremely uncomfortable and had sent my vertigo into hyperdrive. I was vomiting and felt like seven shades of shit (and that's a lot of shit-shades to deal with). To cut a long story short, that meant no more shows for me. Firstly, my face was too swollen to speak at length, which is pretty much the definition of standup. I was prescribed antibiotics for the infection, which...

I was walking into town the other day, doing my best to keep a low profile, when a little unexpected kindness lifted my morale a bit. I'd just got home from my early-morning dog-walk and had quickly sorted myself to head back out to get my hair cut. Unfortunately, my vestibular migraine was at full-tilt and I had the general demeanour of a man trying to slip by unnoticed; to be honest, I'd exit my body while in the barber's chair, let alone on my way to it. As I walked along the main road, two guys came towards me chatting to each other, and I instinctively tried to shrink into myself. As they got closer, one flagged me down with an "Ah, Mr Ephgrave" and held out a hand for me to shake it. "Hello", I replied, a little confused. Picking up on my confusion, he countered with, "We're big fans of your work." I didn't expect that. It was a little shot of generosity, probably inspired by all the attention my Edinburgh fundrai...

I'm struggling a little with my meditation at the moment. For a few years, I've meditated almost daily, though admittedly, I've fallen off a bit recently. Perhaps that's the problem, although I think it's only part of it. While the motivation for meditation's often to calm the mind and ease stress and suffering, most teachers suggest not seeking goals; if a byproduct of your practice is a quieter mind then great, but if it isn't, that's fine too. The aim is to accept what's happening at the present moment and move on.  The reason I do it is to create space; for me, it's a breather. It's so easy to allow things to build to the point where you can't see the wood for the trees, and it's then I tend to step away from what I'm doing for ten minutes or so to restore clarity; it's not about creating false serenity so much as returning to now. Sometimes, distraction plagues your head, and when it does, you're meant to acknow...

Today was long but productive, even if was filled predominantly with admin. What pleased me most was I managed to do a little work on some material that, while brief, felt promising; at least I seem to be slowly and gently heading in the right direction with it. I’m trying to do just the right amount of tinkering with ideas without working for so long I become stale and frazzled with it, which suits my currently slightly battle-worn brain. My main mission today was to try and settle an issue regarding medication that had been prescribed to me by the specialist I saw about my constant dizziness a few weeks ago , which ran out yesterday, but I couldn’t get a repeat because the write-up for my appointment hadn’t been forwarded to my GP yet and I had no clear record of what had taken place. While all parties concerned were extremely helpful it still took two phone calls to the hospital where I had my appointment, two calls to 111 to seek authorization ...