mostly david ephgrave

It’s like what John Lennon sang when The Beatles split up: “The dream is over”; Monkman's gone from our screens. Personally, I’m inconsolable, as he's lightened my mood on many a Monday for weeks. He’s that wonderful blend of being likeable yet also capable of making you laugh unintentionally nigh-on every time he speaks. He's got better comic timing than Morecambe (E), Wise (E), Dawson (L) and Cooper (T) rolled into one big funny monster…with a Canadian accent and an asymmetrical fringe to boot. See below for tonight’s UC tweets: if you have a drink nearby then raise a glass; we shan’t see his like again (until the next series). Wolfson - Cambridge Vs. Balliol - Ocford (10.04.17) 7:58pm: We, my friends, are on the brink of TV history: we're mere seconds away from MONKMAN'S LAST HURRAH. My God, it's tense. 8:00pm: Tonight's # UniversityChallenge is the quiz equivalent to the Boat Race. 8:01pm: Monkman's looking mor...

This morning, I made a (Eph)grave miscalculation, when I woke up thinking the day would end with a Monkman. I even went so far as to tag some of his bigger fans within my friendship group on Facebook to the effect that today would end with a Monkman. I also Tweeted about the day ending with a Monkman, before suddenly losing faith. ‘Hang on a minute,’ I thought. ‘What if the day doesn’t end with a Monkman? What if he isn't back until next week?’ I checked my sources and lo and behold, I’d got it wrong: today wasn’t set to end with a Monkman at all; not for me and not for the wider general public. The only people to be treated to a Monkman at the end of the day were those who live with him; the rest of us mere mortals have to wait until the final next Monday. Rest assured though: next Monday is Monkmonday. I can’t wait. See below for tonight’s University Challenge Tweets: Edinburgh Vs. Balliol - Oxford (03.04.17) 8:03pm: Boy...

Unfortunately, I’ve missed the last few episodes of University Challenge due to a hectic schedule (correction: I just happened to have a string of gigs on Mondays), so in many ways, I feel like I’ve fallen out of the loop. The biggest disaster of all thanks to this was missing an extra performance from this year’s internet sensation, the truly wonderful Monkman. The chap is as puzzlement even to himself, though he should at least rest assured that he’s the epitome of the sort of person you expect to see on television’s most socially awkward quiz show; the man expels so much nervous energy for me to worry he will burst. Still, what we lost from no Monkman was counteracted nicely by the presence of Goldman, who’s like a robot when it comes to answering questions, while seemingly deriving no pleasure from it. His joyless tone was my main focus on Twitter tonight, though my comments weren’t appreciated by everyone; it’s not like I sought him out person...

Clear the decks and ring the bell: Monkman’s back in da house. Apologies for briefly slipping into yoof speak (of the mid-Nineties), but my point still stands. When Wolfson’s finest is safely tucked away behind his University Challenge lightbox, you know the show's going to be a cracker. He is a man with exceptional comic value, even if it’s completely unintended; I’ve never seen anyone look so consistently manic and perplexed. See below for my Twitter commentary on tonight’s Monkman-filled episode;even if you didn’t watch it, you should be able to pick up the gist. Wolfson - Cambridge Vs. Balliol - Oxford (16.01.179 8:01pm: Paxman. So weary. 8:02pm: .....iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttt's MONKMAN. 8:02pm: Chaudhri's from near Cockermouth. Heh heh. 8:03pm: Cancel everything: Monkman's in town. 8:03pm: Well...Pope's got a centre-parting. 8:04pm: I'm absolutely completely in ...

There was only one contestant I had my eyes on during tonight’s University Challenge, and that was Balliol Goldman. Never before has a participant been so devoid of warmth and emotion, and that’s saying something. Those two qualities practically have their own tick boxes on the game show’s application form, though in Goldman’s case, he must have checked them with a Sharpie; the man was an unequivocal gimp. See below for tonight’s Tweets; I can only apologise for the bullying, as usual. Robinson - Cambridge Vs. Balliol - Oxford   8:02pm: Jeremy Paxman feels disdain for the other 7.4 billion people on the planet. 8:03pm: "Hi, I'm James Pinder and I'm studying what it's like to have the same size ears as Pob". 8:04pm: Goldman, not smiling when he gets the answer right. C*nt. 8:05pm: Pope. Suave. 8:06pm: Verghese's jumper looks like it's made up of tiny, tiny, tiny grey bricks. ...